Somewhere far from the ancient city wall, beyond the outskirts and ghettos and ghost towns, myth tells us of a magnificent metropolis of liquid delight. No foreign eye has ever beheld its interior, though a few claim to have reached its outer wall. There, it is said, the air is so dense from the evaporation [...]
Jun 02, 2009 | Categories: China, Modern Wonders of the World, Nanjing | Tags: bai jiu, booze, cities, Humor, liquor, lost city of atlantis, monuments, myth, social commentary, wonders | Leave A Comment »
On this holiday in 2008 the Olympic torch passed over the quaint dam nearby and into our city of Yichang. This year’s big event, best known as Swine Flu, made a surprise appearance in the form of an alleged Nanjing city-wide mandate for foreigners to be quarantined (in their personal apartments) for a week upon [...]
Jun 01, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, NEWS FLASH, Yichang | Tags: Children's Day, Foreigners in China, Humor, kids with toy guns, little emperor, one child policy, quarantine, social commentary, spoiled brats, swine flu, tired parents | Leave A Comment »
Dear Doggie in the Window, You are not the first of your kind to be pictured on this page, nor the first to be the subject of our thoughts. Indeed, you are not even the first canine to be addressed here in the second person, human to dog, via missive. However, let none of this [...]
May 30, 2009 | Categories: China, Letters to Whomever, Nanjing | Tags: Dogs, Humor, mutts, social commentary, talking to animals, ugly lap dogs | Leave A Comment »
Who doesn’t like to stare off into the beautiful coal filled abyss of nothingness? And, more pertinently, who can afford such a luxury in China? You? Perfect. This is your dream home. The street sound free/view free apartments start on the 50th floor and rise to heaven. No more will you hear the cardboard man’s [...]
May 29, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Prime Real Estate | Tags: air, buildings, Humor, living space, nothingness, real estate, skyscrapers, smog, social commentary, the future, views | Leave A Comment »
ENVISION THE FUTURE! Behold! The future of warfare! As sleek as a fighter jet, as mobile as a Humvee, and just as necessary for the protection of Freedom and Democracy worldwide! Having discovered the indubitable link between poverty and thrift and the proliferation of senseless dreams, the Department of National Dream Control has revealed a [...]
May 26, 2009 | Categories: America, China, War on Dreams | Tags: consumerism, Dreams, Humor, IKEA, proliferation, Shopping, shopping carts, social commentary | Leave A Comment »
Dear “White Bear,” WHITE BEAR! Your skin’s hue of Sprite bottles, severe seasickness, and apple candy is cause for concern. Your sallow belly is not hidden behind your crooked tie. Neither is that torso spanning scar. A vicious fight it must have been. Your American flag top hat, raised arms with flashing cards and a [...]
May 24, 2009 | Categories: America, Letters to Whomever, Vietnam | Tags: acid, american dream, bears, Humor, Ken Kesey, nonsense, race, Ridiculous, social commentary, waste basket | Leave A Comment »
Oh, China. The name alone evokes images of sprinklers arcing over trim, green lawns; neat lines of white picket fences; rocking chairs on the porch with pitchers full of lemonade; apple pie cooling on window sills; wide, winding avenues depositing family vehicles into their personal driveways and into their spacious, separate homes… no? Wrong country? [...]
May 23, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Prime Real Estate | Tags: Chinese houses, Humor, lawns, picket fence, social commentary, suburban homes | Leave A Comment »
THE RED COATS ARE COMING! THE RED COATS ARE COMING! Be it a tourist troop or school field trip, you will find these proliferating cherry swarms at most entry-fee free destinations in China. From the youngest shame-free squat-n-shitter to the saggy-jawed, corner-occupying coot, outfits of easy-to-spot-red are all the rage in this country where baseless [...]
May 22, 2009 | Categories: China, This Ridiculous World Guide | Tags: chinese people, Humor, Nationalism, social commentary, sports, teams, the color red | Comments Off
The chickens lived in a tight, dark coop full of poop. They slept on poop, walked on poop, and on many occasions mistook poop for grain and ate it. The chickens also looked at poop all day long. They thought nothing of their situation, of the darkness and excremental view. They were chickens, and did [...]
May 20, 2009 | Categories: China, Fables | Tags: bars, cages, chickens, chinese street corners, fable, houses, Humor, social commentary, stories | Leave A Comment »
prosticutters teach primary school Share this:EmailRedditStumbleUponDigg
May 17, 2009 | Categories: China, This is What Happens, Yichang | Tags: children, chinese primary school, education, feathers, Humor, indecency, innocence, social commentary | Leave A Comment »
Attention: What to do if you come across a poster such as this one: smash, destroy, beat, bash, mutilate, hammer, ram, stomp, pound, or otherwise hit until you are certain that all dissenting messages have been fully eradicated! It is your duty as a citizen to protect the sanctity of street-side advertising panels – never [...]
May 16, 2009 | Categories: America, China, Nanjing, War on Dreams | Tags: dissent, dreamers, Dreams, education, Humor, posters, programming, smashing, social commentary, war on drugs | Leave A Comment »
Townsfolk examine ducks for signs of disaster Remote Place, CHINA – ‘Swine’ not ‘Swan’ fu read the latest in a series of misleading and misinterpreted messages from an unknown but important source. Two weeks ago a similar message prompted the slaughter of the town’s entire duck population. After careful inspection mayor Huli announced, “It has [...]
May 15, 2009 | Categories: China, NEWS FLASH | Tags: fake news, H1N1, Humor, language barrier, miscommunication, overreact, panic, social commentary, swine flu | Leave A Comment »
When Henry D. Thoreau went off on his famous experiment in living simply and deliberately, he need not to have constructed his own cabin in the woods – he could have come over to China, to this little metal-roofed monument to truth. While there may be no pond to reflect upon, there are ample puddles [...]
May 14, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Prime Real Estate | Tags: garbage juice, henry david thoreau, Humor, karaoke, KTV, necessities of life, property, real estate, social commentary, walden pond | Leave A Comment »
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May 10, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Traces of Progress | Tags: advertisements, fast food, giant pictures of food, hamburgers, Humor, mcdonalds, people standing really close to walls, promotions, social commentary | 2 Comments »
The crumbling metal plow rolls slowly along its rusty tracks. It has come from one place; it is going to another. The sky is pure – the light falls sharply, drawing with precise contrast the shapes of leaves and trees, of cool striped railings, signposts, idling vehicles, and the eager, anticipating figures of two full-grown [...]
May 09, 2009 | Categories: America, China, War on Dreams | Tags: criminals, Dreams, Humor, imagination, possibility, social commentary, trains, war on drugs | Leave A Comment »
Dear Students Who Covet Our Autographs, When you tell me “write your name” on this pencil case, jacket, notebook, text book, toy, hand, etc. and I ask you, “why?” it is not because I don’t understand what you are saying. No amount of repetition, louder, slower or otherwise will answer my question. I’m looking for [...]
May 07, 2009 | Categories: China, Letters to Whomever | Tags: autographs, Chinese students, Expat, foreigners, Humor, social commentary, teaching in china | Leave A Comment »
Such a darling setup – and magnified, of course, to domineering proportions. Life-size, it seems, was not impressive enough, not quite as instructive. These are the days of magnitude over quantity, or quality, for that matter- the time of things that make your chin raise. And what a message! What an image! The light falls [...]
May 06, 2009 | Categories: China, Crimes Against Posterity | Tags: harmony, history, Humor, modern china, social commentary, statues, Terracotta Warriors, the past, unification | 2 Comments »
Signs of Thought 6
Jun 05, 2009 | Categories: China, Signs of Thought | Tags: chinese translations, chinglish, Humor, Li Jiang, lost in translation, shower bath rules, social commentary | 1 Comment »