Dear “White Bear,”
WHITE BEAR! Your skin’s hue of Sprite bottles, severe seasickness, and apple candy is cause for concern. Your sallow belly is not hidden behind your crooked tie. Neither is that torso spanning scar. A vicious fight it must have been. Your American flag top hat, raised arms...
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As you fine, intelligent people are all aware, for millennia the land of the Great Wall, Gunpowder and The Floating Hat has been miles ahead of the competition. Now folks, don’t panic! but kindly lift your chin upwards from the folds of your neck – I’d advise you keep your mouth from gaping...
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Caging the Lions
A general warning issued today by the DNDC demonstrated that results were in fact found during its much-criticized, multi-billion dollar, year-long undercover infiltration operation: “Please beware! Among the Dreamers’ secretive and powerful arsenal of WMDs (weapons of mass distraction) rests the epitome of all evil idleness:...
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After touring the sight of the Terracotta Warriors in Xi’an you are force-funneled out through a massive open-aired mall. When we visited in late March 2009, not exactly the high tourist season, it appeared the main commodity was furs.
TRW: What is this?
Vendor: Bear
TRW: No, what kind of dog is this?
Vendor: Not dog. ...
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Yichang, CHINA – There is an old saying: “As goat racing goes so goes the nation.” Unfortunately, if the favorite pastime of central China is the indicator it is said to be, it seems the nation may be in greater danger than previously expected. “It is quite a bad sign,” said Zhang...
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China loves Walls. Chinese people build walls everywhere. Some are great, some are less so. Many serve multiple purposes such as advertising, keeping people in, keeping people out, hiding something from view, indicating property line, etc. Usually, when a wall isn’t tall enough to deter ninjas, they line the top with shards of glass....
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Here it is folks, the most recent Wonder of the World. The man with the floating hat. Watch as he struts along, the hat bobbing four solid feet above his head in mid air. “Trickery!” you may say – or worse, “Impossible.”
Well folks, I can guarantee, five hundred percent, that this...
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Dear Person Who Left that Tarp Piled High With Feces Outside Our Apartment,
Seeing as this is the center of a large city, tens, perhaps hundreds of miles from the nearest farmland where your rank hoard might be considered useful, we understand your confidence in leaving it unattended for the last 10 days.
However, the reason...
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