Dear Elephant Man, Perhaps you do not suffer from some debilitating, disfiguring deadly disease. Your face does not appear horribly mutated. No mind. This title is not meant to damage your self esteem. No, if it does you are too sensitive and maybe we have you wrong. We refer instead to the hue of your [...]
Jun 07, 2009 | Categories: China, Letters to Whomever | Tags: elephant man, fighting inanimate objects, Humor, iron elephant, man, nature, nonsense | Leave A Comment »
Dear “White Bear,” WHITE BEAR! Your skin’s hue of Sprite bottles, severe seasickness, and apple candy is cause for concern. Your sallow belly is not hidden behind your crooked tie. Neither is that torso spanning scar. A vicious fight it must have been. Your American flag top hat, raised arms with flashing cards and a [...]
May 24, 2009 | Categories: America, Letters to Whomever, Vietnam | Tags: acid, american dream, bears, Humor, Ken Kesey, nonsense, race, Ridiculous, social commentary, waste basket | Leave A Comment »
General: “That’s bullshit. You know it as well as I do that there is no nonpartisan side in this war. You’re either with us or against us. This smarmy news outlet isn’t fooling anyone with your ‘Interviews for Everyone’. You think our people don’t notice those goofy grins or sarcastic comments cleverly inserted through your [...]
May 02, 2009 | Categories: America, China, War on Dreams | Tags: elevators, Government, Humor, Mock Interview, nonsense, social commentary, war on drugs, wars on nouns | Leave A Comment »
As you fine, intelligent people are all aware, for millennia the land of the Great Wall, Gunpowder and The Floating Hat has been miles ahead of the competition. Now folks, don’t panic! but kindly lift your chin upwards from the folds of your neck – I’d advise you keep your mouth from gaping as the [...]
Apr 28, 2009 | Categories: China, Modern Wonders of the World, Nanjing | Tags: chinese air, Humor, miracle, nonsense, Pollution, Ridiculous, social commentary | Leave A Comment »
Caging the Lions A general warning issued today by the DNDC [Department of National Dream Control] demonstrated that results were in fact found during its much-criticized, multi-billion dollar, year-long undercover infiltration operation: “Please beware! Among the Dreamers’ secretive and powerful arsenal of WMDs (weapons of mass distraction) rests the epitome of all evil idleness: The [...]
Apr 22, 2009 | Categories: America, China, War on Dreams | Tags: cats, cute things, dream control, Government, Humor, kittens, nonsense, reeducation, Ridiculous, social commentary, warnings | Leave A Comment »
Here it is folks, the most recent Wonder of the World. The man with the floating hat. Watch as he struts along, the hat bobbing four solid feet above his head in mid air. “Trickery!” you may say – or worse, “Impossible.” Well folks, I can guarantee, five hundred percent, that this here man and [...]
Feb 16, 2009 | Categories: China, Modern Wonders of the World, Nanjing | Tags: Cowboy Hats, French concession, Humor, nonsense, Ridiculous, Trickery | 1 Comment »
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Jul 03, 2008 | Categories: China, Yichang | Tags: Chinese supermarket, clothing, coca cola, coke, english language, Fashion, jumbled words, nonsense, t-shirt, That's Not English | 1 Comment »
Dear “White Bear”
Dear “White Bear,” WHITE BEAR! Your skin’s hue of Sprite bottles, severe seasickness, and apple candy is cause for concern. Your sallow belly is not hidden behind your crooked tie. Neither is that torso spanning scar. A vicious fight it must have been. Your American flag top hat, raised arms with flashing cards and a [...]
May 24, 2009 | Categories: America, Letters to Whomever, Vietnam | Tags: acid, american dream, bears, Humor, Ken Kesey, nonsense, race, Ridiculous, social commentary, waste basket | Leave A Comment »