China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Posts Tagged ‘Garbage Ninjas’

Garbage Ninja Report Update

It has been over a year since I last wrote on the Garbage Ninja species. Don’t let this fool you. We have not for one moment slackened our research or field work on the subject. Nor have we been entirely frustrated by a lack of results. You may remember from the original Garbage Ninja Report […]


PAY PHONE TINY SHOE CALLING CARD THIEF EXPOSED!

Nanjing, CHINA – Pay phones have been disappearing from kiosks in a series of thefts that has left little to no impact on the citizens of the city. When asked about her discovery, Long Xiaomei, the eighty-one year old local woman who is credited with reporting the missing phones commented, “What! What’s gone? Oh, yes, […]


CRIMES AGAINST POSTERITY: Exhibit B

CRIMES AGAINST POSTERITY: Exhibit B

Waste Not Yet Ye Be Wasted A simple garbage bin, a pleasant wood exterior, designed in accordance with the ultra-modern concept of discretion when disposing. Right bin or left bin?. Choose wisely. Consumption has past; it is too late to change that. You weren’t satisfied with your purchase? You think the whole thing was a […]


The Plight of Clean Propaganda

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 42 The latest wave of “dirty” products – this being the season of Tainted Milk – has prompted the Central government to ask local governments all over the country to issue a plea to their people: “Help us clean up our image.” With hopes of feeding off the unbelievable […]


The Ridictionary: Lesson 3

Garbage Ninja (n)1. A master of the art of garbage ninjutsu, an ancient martial art technique focusing on stealth and frugality, known to prowl dark stairwells and corners in search of abandoned household wares or empty bottles.ex. Before you open the door, check the stairwell for garbage ninjas. 2. An unknown entity that may or […]


POSSIBLE GARBAGE NINJA SIGHTING!

Yichang, CHINA – This photograph, taken with a high-speed camera, is perhaps the most substantial visual evidence to date of the existence of the fabled garbage ninja. Forensic analysts, teamed with experts in the field of garbage ninjitsu, believe that the image most likely depicts some sort of bicycle overloaded with Styrofoam, but no official […]


Garbage Ninja Report

Garbage Ninjas are a species of mammal. Until recently, they were believed to be nocturnal but now I think that perhaps they are late afternoon/early evening-turnal too because I accidentally hit one with the door at around 4:38 the other day when I was putting another garbage item outside into the stairwell of the apartment […]