China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Posts Tagged ‘foreigners’

Thank You China

Thank You China

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 2.01 It’s about time we told you. We came back. A lot of famous things have been said about home: it’s “why I keep returning,” it’s “where I want to be,” it’s “always so exciting,” etc. All catchy ideas that I’ll admit to singing along with and perhaps even […]


Face Value

Face Value

The Nanjing Galaxy Yacht Club floats securely in the yellowish, turbid water of the Yangtze River. The neighborhood – in the northwest of the city, far from the Ming Dynasty wall – is mostly industrial. Not far upstream is the famous Yangtze River Bridge, a dark, ominous shape stretching across the water. There are no […]


Summer in China – A Season for Leaving

Summer in China - A Season for Leaving

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 67 When it’s 90 plus degrees with 100% humidity and your neighbor’s coal smoke is pumping along with the encephalitis mosquitoes through your broken window screen and down on the street the men who actually wear shirts have them rolled up past their nipples, while inside your apartment the […]


Prototype for Alaskan Attorney Discovered at the Chinese Museum

SLIGHTLY MORE PHOTOGENIC AS MAN Shanghai, CHINA – A bust of Eric T. Sanders, was recently found in the ancient sculpture wing of the Shanghai Museum. The well-preserved, roughly-carved giant head – which, incidentally, is often referred to as “The Judge” – was previously thought to be some sort of god, demon or school teacher. […]


Tao and the Art of Hippopotamus Maintenance

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 65 Hey! You! Hippopotamus! Yeah, you. Can you take a hint? I’ll crouch here, wiping this soapy water over my non-smelly motorbike while you fat, needy beast wallow there in your own filth with a perfectly good bathtub not 5 feet away. You’d think you’re some sort of Mongol […]


Dear Students Who Covet Our Autographs

Dear Students Who Covet Our Autographs, When you tell me “write your name” on this pencil case, jacket, notebook, text book, toy, hand, etc. and I ask you, “why?” it is not because I don’t understand what you are saying. No amount of repetition, louder, slower or otherwise will answer my question. I’m looking for […]


CRIMES AGAINST POSTERITY: Exhibit D

CRIMES AGAINST POSTERITY: Exhibit D

Foreign-er Education It was a hotel in Xi’An, home of the world’s most famous doll collection. The television fired up to the usual stuff, each click leading us around the carousel of tolerable news and soap operas… Wait! What’s this? No emblem in the corner, but that was not so odd – most eye-catching, most […]


Ode to the Ugliest: a poem

You of the snaggled teeth and underbite, (no Spell-Check, not “snuggled,” never snuggled for this beast) of the drool pooling lips and potato-shaped head, your face so empty of symmetry, and suffocating on excess character: Sit. You gnarled mess of pedigreed inbreeding. Do you recognize your disfigurement? Where is your basket? Your sweater? SIT I […]


Watch Where You’re Pointing That Thing

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 4 This is a picture of some workers (notice their business clothes and fancy shoes) installing bars over one of our balconies. The school paid for them to do this. We are unsure as to whether this was a step to ensure the foreigners stay in or the ninjas […]