China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Posts Tagged ‘Expat’

Dear Man Golfing Towards the Ming Dynasty Wall

Dear Man Golfing Towards the Ming Dynasty Wall, Psyche! No? Ok, good concentration. Must come from living amongst so much noise all your life. Anyway, I shouldn’t be trying to disrupt you – surely your game is as important to your business guanxi as what brand of cigarettes you smoke. Or maybe you are just […]


But You Can’t Take the Stoop out of the Man

Totally Awesome Picture of the week 50 Oh to kick it on the stoop. Watching traffic with a lukewarm Tsing Tao and a radio buzzing federal propaganda. Wearing snoopy pajamas and slippers. The ideal everyday afternoon. The perfect demonstration of leisure. But alas! My home, my stoop, my radio, the cushion of my chair, even […]


Dear Brown Cloud that Blots Out the Sun

Dear Brown Cloud that Blots Out the Sun, You “noxious cocktail” you! Your intoxicating side effects have gone too far! Melting the glaciers! Poisoning the water supplies! We’re not teetotalers but we do know our limits and you sir, have surpassed them. You are seeped with languor. As you kill the denizens of this ancient […]


Time for President Yes

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 47 Ok America. Rise and Shine. It’s Tuesday night here in the Eastern hemisphere and it’s getting to be morning over there. You know what that means. This little old woman shuffles a mile and a half by herself every morning just to join the other lonesome elderly for […]


PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY: NOT AS SIMPLE AS SOME MAY THINK!

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The Visionary

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 46 Come one, come all! Witness a rip-roarin’ hair-pullin’ old fashioned good-timey ruckus down here at The Agricultural Extravaganza! Worth the pain and so much more! Less costly than that mini-skirt four-inch stiletto ensemble you’ve been flashing from your bicycle all over town! Created domestically for the domestics! Reduces […]


The Chinese Backyard

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 45 Is this not what your backyard looks like? Do your neighbors not live less than 15 feet away and not use a power saw at 5 am? What about fireworks at 6 am, 7am, 7:15 am and so on throughout the day? No?! How fascinating. Really. You mean […]


This Ridiculous World Report: Crossing the Street in China

Crossing the street in China is like waking up in the middle of a dream: the line between reality and nonsense is so blurred that it seems like anything can happen. Except, when you step from the curb in China anything can happen (and most of the time, the curb is no safer). At first […]


Very Fashion China 7: Matching Couples Outfits

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Ads for the Personelle: Waiter Seeking Customers

S.C.M. young, handsome, traditional dresser seeks hungry customers, loyal or one-time-only, dine-in or take-away, lunch or dinner. Prefers no spitting on floor or table. Must know how to use chopsticks. Big drinkers OK. Foreigners OK. Share this:


Dear Nanjing Municipality

Dear Nanjing Municipality, Rumor is that you’re vying for some sort of award. China’s Best City or the Civilization Prize or Certificate of Glory or something. First of all, good luck. That isn’t a small pool of competitors to go against. But take this for what it’s worth – you’re strides ahead of Yichang. After […]


BEING A TOURIST RICKSHAW PULLER WOULD SUCK

Nanjing, CHINA – A study conducted jointly through the sociology departments of Nanjing Rickshaw University and The Venice College of Gondoliering has found that though both occupations fall under the description of Tourist’s Bitch, it must be said that the Nanjing rickshaw mules have it far worse than their gondolier of Venice counterparts for a […]


Traces of Progress: Employee Rest Areas

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The 2008 Scarecrow Election

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 41 The 2008 Scarecrow Contest. A hundred dollar U.S. cash prize for the best creation. More than many of our neighbors make in a month. My, what an honor it must bestow. Do you know what a scarecrow is? It’s an anthropomorphic object, usually set in a field to […]


Dear Recycled Hand

Dear Recycled Hand, To begin, I must say that it is noble of you to sacrifice yourself to the cause. It’s a thankless job with high expectations and high stress. We notice that you are the Left. If you are anything like our country, I suppose the Right is in the “Unrecyclable” bin next to […]


Three Men: a poem

Outside our window, down belowIn the noisy, scrambling China showA man in gray shorts of cottonReaches down to scratch his bottom. A king in his palace. Another, in sagging white undies,Formal shoes, but no shirt or tieCasually sparks up a cigaretteAnd stops at the lottery to place a bet. Comfort trumps all. A third, standing […]


Let the Street Cleaners do Their Job

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 39 “Hello! Where you from? USA? Hello! USA do very well. Number two! USA number 2! China number 1! Many, many gold medal. Many many! China win Olympic Games! Go China! USA number 2 in Olympic Games. USA do very good! China maybe have a little more people so […]


Dear Man Standing on a Rock in a Field of Other Rocks

Dear Man Standing on a Rock in a Field of Other Rocks, Nice rock. Or is it a boulder? Either way, what are you doing up there? Was the ground below not satisfactory? Obviously, something caused you to leave the common plane and ascend to your present position – let us propose a scenario or […]


Flavor Cannon

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 38 This is it. Today Alaska. Tomorrow China. From the last frontier to the land of antiquity. And how perfect an illustration for this venture: The Flavor Cannon (or canon if you ask someone who knows about Chinese food) indicating GO! visas in order, the land yonder over that […]


Very Fashion China 6: The Do it Yourselfers

Due to the movement of foreign-financed sweatshops to less powerful and less demanding nations like Vietnam and Cambodia, many Chinese nationalists have begun to test their creative impulses and luck in the garment industry. With an abundance of leftover Western-style dummies at their disposal, aspiring designers can finally dress life-size foreigners to their pleasing. The […]


Traces of Progress: Fuel-Efficient Cargo Vehicles

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Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily episode 20


Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily episode 19


Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily episode 18