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May 16, 2011 | Categories: Art and Garbage, China, digital art, Jinhua | Tags: color, digital art, Expat, ideas, plastic bags, thoughts, Trash, ubiquitous, unstoppable | 2 Comments »
Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily episode 31 Before you start accusing us of focusing on the poor, fading laundry as part of our own Antonioni scheme to sabotage the world’s image of an entire nation, let us be clear: we are more interested in the one small bright square so carefully preserved like some tiny peep [...]
Mar 05, 2010 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily | Tags: Antonioni, beverages, cement, chai, Cina, consumerism, corn juice, corny, destruction, development, drinks, Expat, laundry, Progress, social commentary, tea, the future, Travel | 3 Comments »
The Nanjing Galaxy Yacht Club floats securely in the yellowish, turbid water of the Yangtze River. The neighborhood – in the northwest of the city, far from the Ming Dynasty wall – is mostly industrial. Not far upstream is the famous Yangtze River Bridge, a dark, ominous shape stretching across the water. There are no [...]
Feb 27, 2010 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Yichang | Tags: chinese schools, dinner, Expat, face, foreigners, payment, promotion, Propaganda, teachers, teaching english, Travel, yacht club | 3 Comments »
Dear Big Ants Who Were Bossing Around the Little Ants, First, I must say that you look crazy up close. Sorry, but I have been a little off lately and have found that brushing aside distractions clears up a path towards almost clarity. Share this:EmailRedditStumbleUponDigg
Jun 20, 2009 | Categories: China, Letters to Whomever | Tags: ants, ants in the kitchen, Chinese Food, Expat, food scraps, foreign teacher, Humor, IELTS, social commentary | 1 Comment »
Dear Students Who Covet Our Autographs, When you tell me “write your name” on this pencil case, jacket, notebook, text book, toy, hand, etc. and I ask you, “why?” it is not because I don’t understand what you are saying. No amount of repetition, louder, slower or otherwise will answer my question. I’m looking for [...]
May 07, 2009 | Categories: China, Letters to Whomever | Tags: autographs, Chinese students, Expat, foreigners, Humor, social commentary, teaching in china | Leave A Comment »
You of the snaggled teeth and underbite, (no Spell-Check, not “snuggled,” never snuggled for this beast) of the drool pooling lips and potato-shaped head, your face so empty of symmetry, and suffocating on excess character: Sit. You gnarled mess of pedigreed inbreeding. Do you recognize your disfigurement? Where is your basket? Your sweater? SIT I [...]
Feb 28, 2009 | Categories: China, Poetry | Tags: Expat, foreigners, Humor, inbreeding, snaggle tooth, ugly lap dogs | Leave A Comment »
China loves Walls. Chinese people build walls everywhere. Some are great, some are less so. Many serve multiple purposes such as advertising, keeping people in, keeping people out, hiding something from view, indicating property line, etc. Usually, when a wall isn’t tall enough to deter ninjas, they line the top with shards of glass. Some [...]
Feb 23, 2009 | Categories: China, This Ridiculous World Guide, Yichang | Tags: Expat, Great Wall, protection, Ridiculous, walls | 1 Comment »
Dear Sleeping Bicycle Guard, Finally, we have caught you, after so many undocumented sightings. There is no denying it now – sleeping on the job! Ha! So, as yet another lucky pawner makes off with his lunch resting in some over-worked high schooler’s handlebar basket, we will address the great mystery of your constant catnapping. [...]
Jan 27, 2009 | Categories: China, Letters to Whomever, Nanjing | Tags: bicycles, Chinese people sleeping, constant noise, Expat, guard, Humor, social commentary | 1 Comment »
At first, visitors to Shanghai’s Museum of Contemporary Art (MoCA) may find themselves slackjawed in amazement, without words, staggered, even laughing – almost – as they meander through the gallery’s two floors. Almost laughing, mind you, for its current exhibit, COUPLES, seems to sink below the realm of quality so far that it nearly (but [...]
Jan 14, 2009 | Categories: China, Shanghai | Tags: Expat, Humor, moca, Modern art, museum of contemporary art, people's square, shanghai, social commentary | 1 Comment »
Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 55 As I lay strategically flattened to the bed so that my nose pours steadily through a box of tissues instead of down into my lungs, and the pressure on the back of my eyes forces me to squeeze them small into a squint so as to prevent them [...]
Jan 06, 2009 | Categories: China, Totally Awesome Picture of the Week | Tags: being sick, Expat, hawking, Humor, I have a cold, new year's day, Pig, social commentary, spitting | Leave A Comment »
How To Properly Dispose of Your Excess Waste httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfWVqdju0o8 Follow these five easy steps: 1. Remember that nothing ensures safety more than acting casual. Forgo the superfluity of traffic cones or flashing lights. 2. Procure a large container on wheels (similar to a garbage can) for the purpose of transporting your waste to the dumping [...]
Jan 04, 2009 | Categories: China, Videos | Tags: chinese workers, dumping, Expat, Gross, how to, Humor, instructional video, manholes, safety, social commentary, Videos, waste | Leave A Comment »
Dear Person Who Left that Tarp Piled High With Feces Outside Our Apartment, Seeing as this is the center of a large city, tens, perhaps hundreds of miles from the nearest farmland where your rank hoard might be considered useful, we understand your confidence in leaving it unattended for the last 10 days. However, the [...]
Dec 31, 2008 | Categories: China, Letters to Whomever | Tags: excrement, Expat, Giant Cows, Humor, Jiangsu, Ridiculous, social commentary | Leave A Comment »
Nanjing, CHINA – L.A.W. (Life After Wires) is not your usual Telecom support group. They won’t put you on hold, but they might make you hold on – for your life. L.A.W., an organization which offers a course to help ease land line workers into the wireless age, has been very busy. In 2008, the [...]
Dec 28, 2008 | Categories: China, NEWS FLASH | Tags: circus, Expat, Humor, life line, phone lines, social commentary, telecommunications, tightrope walking, wireless | Leave A Comment »
Dec 25, 2008 | Categories: China, What Are Sidewalks For | Tags: Clothes, Expat, Humor, Olympics, patriotism, selling, sidewalks, social commentary, t shirts | Leave A Comment »
Totally Awesome Picture of the week 53 Is this how you feel? As though you’ve been stripped naked, skewered through the eye sockets and rotated continuously from bright light to roasting flame, flopping lewdly at the mercy of gravity, doing your best to keep what’s left of your eyes on the man with the cleaver, [...]
Dec 18, 2008 | Categories: China, Totally Awesome Picture of the Week | Tags: Chinese Food, christmas, Expat, Humor, lost in translation, social commentary, western culture | Leave A Comment »
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Dec 02, 2008 | Categories: China, Traces of Progress | Tags: advertising, balancing, chinese mall, diversions, entertainment, Expat, juggling acts, social commentary, Traces of Progress, xinjiekou | Leave A Comment »
Corn Juice for the Masses
Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily episode 31 Before you start accusing us of focusing on the poor, fading laundry as part of our own Antonioni scheme to sabotage the world’s image of an entire nation, let us be clear: we are more interested in the one small bright square so carefully preserved like some tiny peep [...]
Mar 05, 2010 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily | Tags: Antonioni, beverages, cement, chai, Cina, consumerism, corn juice, corny, destruction, development, drinks, Expat, laundry, Progress, social commentary, tea, the future, Travel | 3 Comments »