China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Posts Tagged ‘Expat’

Ideas Like Plastic Bags

Ideas Like Plastic Bags

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Corn Juice for the Masses

Corn Juice for the Masses

Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily episode 31 Before you start accusing us of focusing on the poor, fading laundry as part of our own Antonioni scheme to sabotage the world’s image of an entire nation, let us be clear: we are more interested in the one small bright square so carefully preserved like some tiny peep […]


Face Value

Face Value

The Nanjing Galaxy Yacht Club floats securely in the yellowish, turbid water of the Yangtze River. The neighborhood – in the northwest of the city, far from the Ming Dynasty wall – is mostly industrial. Not far upstream is the famous Yangtze River Bridge, a dark, ominous shape stretching across the water. There are no […]


Dear Big Ants Who Were Bossing Around the Little Ants

Dear Big Ants Who Were Bossing Around the Little Ants, First, I must say that you look crazy up close. Sorry, but I have been a little off lately and have found that brushing aside distractions clears up a path towards almost clarity. Share this:


Signs of Thought 5


Dear Students Who Covet Our Autographs

Dear Students Who Covet Our Autographs, When you tell me “write your name” on this pencil case, jacket, notebook, text book, toy, hand, etc. and I ask you, “why?” it is not because I don’t understand what you are saying. No amount of repetition, louder, slower or otherwise will answer my question. I’m looking for […]


What We Could Sell if Only We Owned a Tricycle: Idea 12

What We Could Sell if Only We Owned a Tricycle: Idea 12

These Things! Share this:


Ode to the Ugliest: a poem

You of the snaggled teeth and underbite, (no Spell-Check, not “snuggled,” never snuggled for this beast) of the drool pooling lips and potato-shaped head, your face so empty of symmetry, and suffocating on excess character: Sit. You gnarled mess of pedigreed inbreeding. Do you recognize your disfigurement? Where is your basket? Your sweater? SIT I […]


This Ridiculous World Guide: China – Walls

This Ridiculous World Guide: China - Walls

China loves Walls. Chinese people build walls everywhere. Some are great, some are less so. Many serve multiple purposes such as advertising, keeping people in, keeping people out, hiding something from view, indicating property line, etc. Usually, when a wall isn’t tall enough to deter ninjas, they line the top with shards of glass. Some […]


Traces of Progress: Well Ventilated Classrooms

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Dear Sleeping Bicycle Guard

Dear Sleeping Bicycle Guard, Finally, we have caught you, after so many undocumented sightings. There is no denying it now – sleeping on the job! Ha! So, as yet another lucky pawner makes off with his lunch resting in some over-worked high schooler’s handlebar basket, we will address the great mystery of your constant catnapping. […]


The Secret Exhibit of the Shanghai Museum of Contemporary Art

At first, visitors to Shanghai’s Museum of Contemporary Art (MoCA) may find themselves slackjawed in amazement, without words, staggered, even laughing – almost – as they meander through the gallery’s two floors. Almost laughing, mind you, for its current exhibit, COUPLES, seems to sink below the realm of quality so far that it nearly (but […]


How I Became a Middle Aged Chinese Woman

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 55 As I lay strategically flattened to the bed so that my nose pours steadily through a box of tissues instead of down into my lungs, and the pressure on the back of my eyes forces me to squeeze them small into a squint so as to prevent them […]


China Instructional Videos: Episode 1

How To Properly Dispose of Your Excess Waste httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfWVqdju0o8 Follow these five easy steps: 1. Remember that nothing ensures safety more than acting casual. Forgo the superfluity of traffic cones or flashing lights. 2. Procure a large container on wheels (similar to a garbage can) for the purpose of transporting your waste to the dumping […]


Dear Person Who Left that Tarp Piled High With Feces Outside Our Apartment

Dear Person Who Left that Tarp Piled High With Feces Outside Our Apartment, Seeing as this is the center of a large city, tens, perhaps hundreds of miles from the nearest farmland where your rank hoard might be considered useful, we understand your confidence in leaving it unattended for the last 10 days. However, the […]


‘LIFE AFTER WIRES’ PREPARES TELECOMPANY EMPLOYEES FOR CIRCUS WORK IN OTHERWISE DISMAL FUTURE

Nanjing, CHINA – L.A.W. (Life After Wires) is not your usual Telecom support group. They won’t put you on hold, but they might make you hold on – for your life. L.A.W., an organization which offers a course to help ease land line workers into the wireless age, has been very busy. In 2008, the […]


What Are Sidewalks For? Answer #12


Twas the Night Before Xmas in China

Twas the Night Before Xmas in China

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 54 A Visit from the Earplugs and Beer Man ‘Twas the night before Xmas and all through the city, Not a whore was motionless, not even the un-pretty. The sausages hung from the wires with care, In hopes that Sheng Dan Lao Ren soon would be there. The foreigners […]


Cleavermas

Totally Awesome Picture of the week 53 Is this how you feel? As though you’ve been stripped naked, skewered through the eye sockets and rotated continuously from bright light to roasting flame, flopping lewdly at the mercy of gravity, doing your best to keep what’s left of your eyes on the man with the cleaver, […]


What Are Sidewalks For? Answer #11


What We Could Sell if Only We Owned a Tricycle: Idea 3

What We Could Sell if Only We Owned a Tricycle: Idea 3

Fried Egg, Pork, Cumin and La Jiao Waffle Biscuits! Share this:


Signs of Thought 1


I Am Thankful that this Moment Has Passed

Totally Awesome Picture of the week 51 I am thankful for my engaged and polite students who stay in their seats and don’t bury my activity sheets in homework from other classes. I am thankful for those students who don’t backtalk and the non-smart ass 12 year-olds who don’t believe a photocopied book over their […]


Traces of Progress: Advertisements and Divertissements

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