China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Posts Tagged ‘Chinese students’

Just Another Day at a Chinese School

Just Another Day at a Chinese School

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What My Student Gave Me: an unabridged journal entry

May 20, 2008 – Yichang, China “Dazed morning at the primary school, raspy voice trying to read a book about butterflies over the constant murmurs of the students. One of my students, the one with the possessed eyes, has now given me a little ‘present’ – twice now. Actually, today before class he came up […]


Students Undisturbed by Disturbance at Chinese High School

Nanjing, CHINA – After three days of continuous drilling the unidentified mustached man on the ladder finally made it through the cement and brick wall and into lucky classroom 8. Though his workspace partially blocked the steps of the entrance to the main building the man’s progress went unimpeded and unquestioned throughout. Students of class […]


Dear Students Who Covet Our Autographs

Dear Students Who Covet Our Autographs, When you tell me “write your name” on this pencil case, jacket, notebook, text book, toy, hand, etc. and I ask you, “why?” it is not because I don’t understand what you are saying. No amount of repetition, louder, slower or otherwise will answer my question. I’m looking for […]


Dear Children Who So Easily Submit to the Mob

Dear Children Who So Easily Submit to the Mob, Jesus Christ! That is a sight to behold – a sight to bemoan. Thank goodness we were trapped in a rolling Volkswagen, safe from the indiscriminate reactions of youth unhinged. In the haze of prepubescent madness it seems even my camera lens was blurred, but the […]


Foreign Stamps

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 48 All right, my students. So this is how it is. You fill up our prestigious universities and we pay for you to do it. Sounds good huh? It is, of course, conditional. Here, read the handbook: “To begin with, you must give up the absurd notion that KFC […]


IT IS DOGGED THAT DOES IT!

CHINA – Anticipating enormous cultural gains through the success of this summer’s Olympic games, school officials all over the nation have begun the enormous task of training the youth to succeed in the competitive atmosphere of the future. As is customary, the process is a highly controlled regimen of both verbal and mental repetition of […]


Dear Yichang

Dear Yichang, When first described to us, our boss said you were like “an old wild west town.” We didn’t believe it. It was hard to see past the cement, glass and general greyness that filled every visible inch – that is until a week or so ago when we saw that big red paper […]


Questioning China’s Q.E.D.s: Japan is Bad

There is a simple game we often use at the primary school where the students shout out words that begin with the particular letter of the alphabet that they are given. For “A” they invariably say “Apple!” and “America!” and “B” usually brings out “Bakery!” and on and on it goes until we have successfully […]