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Dear the First of July

Dear the First of July,

I recognize that bewildered look and will be the first to assure you, yes we are writing to you and not your embarrassing excuse to imbibe and overeat of a sibling, the Fourth. You may not think much of yourself as a segment of time but perhaps our reverence can help that.

You can’t know how much we’re looking forward to your arrival! The shivers of excitement when we think of the things we will do with you! In fact, judging by the way you pulse through our veins, you may be the most tangible day ever. That’s right, tangible. If we took some science to our bodies it would be discovered that our blood is half red stuff, half July First. July First, you elixir of life! Thank you for coming closer every minute. You are the gold star sitting atop the piss-fed Christmas tree, you are the cold beer at the top of the molten lava staircase, you are the light at the end of the tunnel, you are our freedom, our Independence Day – you are glorious.

Don’t be shy. We are not ones to kid. This is no joke. The First of July, we think we love you.

Sincerely,

This Ridiculous World

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