China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Dear Rubber Chicken Models

Dear Rubber Chicken Models,

OMG (translator for parents: modern vernacular for “I’m surprised/so excited”)! We were like, so into you guys when we were kids! Wow. You don’t even know. It was so fun to splash you in the bath and splash you with barbeque sauce! I can’t even express myself. You were sooooo cool! We loved hitting each other with you! And then everyone started getting the key chain version too! You were also so tasty in our tacos! Listen to me, I’m gushing. What a riot.

Anyway, we were wondering, how does it feel to be exploited for your looks and then left dead and naked on a steel tray with your peers? Do you think you’d crow as loud from the top if you had a second trip? Is it nice to be more useful and less expensive than your action hero? Is it embarrassing to have a shorter shelf life? Which is more embarrassing: Dressing in ranch sauce or wrapping yourself around ham in cordon bleu?

As we said before, we’re big fans. We understand if you are too busy being cooked, juggled, eaten, stuffed in a toy chest, or digested to respond. Just think about it and maybe put your answers into the packaging on your next go around. Yummmm rotisserie chicken.

Yours,

This Ridiculous World

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