China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Very Fashion China 1: Hooker Boots and Hard Labor

Our more perceptive readers may have gathered through the blur and reflections that this picture was snapped from a moving vehicle. A public bus to be precise, and though it was filled with people wearing similar outfits, my western mind judged it an inappropriate place to begin our quest to define China fashion. And besides, blur, as our students say, is “very fashion.”

From the toes up you see: high-heeled bunched pleather mid-calf boots with decorative strap, knee length purple, brown, and black pattered skirt, open black zipper jacket, bright purple scrunchy and as an accessory, a teal squeegee.

In most countries, a squeegee would be incongruous with hooker boots or teacher skirts. In the same vein, hooker boots should clash with streets made of mud, and bright purple scrunchies with anyone over the age of 11. Not China.

Perhaps the most wonderful thing about having near universal low wages, long hours and high percentages of joblessness is the sweatshop leftovers that hit markets at unbelievably low prices and allow citizens to wear what they want no matter their vocation. In fact, a good coverall window washing suit probably costs as much as this entire outfit. Which is probably about 8 dollars. Unless of course, her family makes those squeegees, in which case $7.25.

Since fashion in China seems to mean uncomfortable, inappropriate and impractical, we’ll give this woman a 7 (1 being comfortable, appropriate, and practical and 9 being superbly un, in, and im).

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