China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

The 2008 Scarecrow Election


Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 41


The 2008 Scarecrow Contest. A hundred dollar U.S. cash prize for the best creation. More than many of our neighbors make in a month. My, what an honor it must bestow.

Do you know what a scarecrow is? It’s an anthropomorphic object, usually set in a field to protect crops from birds. A manifestation of scary. Should these obviously mis-fit teens be charged with a task so grim?

Look! They’ve stolen their father’s best flannel! And what will their mom say when she finds her new Wrangler jeans have gone missing? Much less, the stuffing of her bed?

And now look at what those rascals are up to! They’ve given it the lips and bouffant hairstyle of their governor! The lack of respect astounds.

Wait, you say those are the governor’s children? No?

Oh, they’re married to the governor’s children! They didn’t look like brothers. Thanks for clarifying. That explains how they got their job. Nepotism flows stronger than oil in this great state. But really, is it wise to put children in charge of national security? I mean the analogy is pretty transparent – seriously – birds stealing our crops? Could your paranoia be any more obvious? And, is it true that this contest is funded by the missile defense system? No? What? No! VECO? They’re still letting them pay for stuff? Perhaps there are no lessons to be learned.

Do you think we could get an interview with these boys? We’d like to know their mother-in law’s position on China.

No, not on a map. She thinks China is WHERE!? Somebody should probably explain that the world is round before she becomes veep. So, no interview. Thanks anyway. I don’t think we need to stay to witness the outcome of this. Oil money doesn’t stray far. Just look at those other scarecrows. It’s like their architects are trying to lose.

To tell the truth, I don’t think the birds really want our neglected rotting crops anyway. It’s much easier to shove in a stuffed shirt every four or so years instead of replanting. Let’s just hope none of those motivated nations notice the scarecrows are made of hay. Maybe we should equip them with guns just in case. Whoa, tangent.

It’s ok though. It just proves the scarecrow is worthy. It caught me off guard and knocked me off track. Nice work boys.

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