China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Flavor Cannon

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 38

This is it. Today Alaska. Tomorrow China. From the last frontier to the land of antiquity. And how perfect an illustration for this venture: The Flavor Cannon (or canon if you ask someone who knows about Chinese food) indicating GO! visas in order, the land yonder over that starting line is fair game, and we’re off! Climb from the dirt, follow that trail, 26 short hours, pass the scattered trash, fly! mount the red carpet, gold medal landing, wait. Wait? It’s over? It’s over. Now what?

Yes, what indeed. I’ll ask China.

Hello China. How are You?

Fine thank you, and You.[?]

Great. Listen, I was wondering, with your gates flung open to the mongrel hoards, has a powerful, sophisticated new you emerged?

Yes, of course.

Have the Beijing Olympics changed the world?

Yes, of course, we have showed the world we are higher, swifter, stronger, faster.

Or is this merely a trick of only positive marketing?

China very positive.

China, sometimes you make the world feel like they’re watching an overbearing parent discipline a 45-year-old, full-grown, well-educated child.


It’s a cringe-inducing situation.

Do you like Chinese food?

Yes, some of it, but…

Chinese food very delicious. Many kinds of Chinese food. What your favorite?

But, China, have you changed?

Chinese food never change. Best food in world! Come, we eat and have a chat.

I guess so, you’re buying?

Hahaha, Chinese food never change. I show you now.

So we walked into the lingering (perhaps ever-present) smoke of the flavor cannon and as the ubiquitous gray filled my every sense I realized China was right: it will show us now.

Leave a Reply