China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

This Ridiculous World Guide: China – The Red Hordes

THE RED COATS ARE COMING! THE RED COATS ARE COMING!

Be it a tourist troop or school field trip, you will find these proliferating cherry swarms at most entry-fee free destinations in China. From the youngest shame-free squat-n-shitter to the saggy-jawed, corner-occupying coot, outfits of easy-to-spot-red are all the rage in this country where baseless worries of waning nationalism are met with enough enthusiasm and color coordinated fury to match a high school cheerleader’s ardor. Life is, after all, just a big game.

As you travel through this country of prideful spectators, remember that they are in fact the home team. No matter how bizarre or unlikely their rules seem, how underage their professional athletes or over-fed their politicians, that they are the ones footing the bill. Over here, it is their game. The visiting team has no say. Sit. Stand. Cheer. Sit. Repeat. The Olympics may be long past but the merchandise is still here and still selling strong. So, if you really want to get a feeling of this culture, this game, buy yourself a red track suit and follow that flag waving biped with the blaring megaphone. Remember to bring lots of water – dehydration is a common result of this sport, as it involves hours of yelling, baijiu, and unclean foods.

Location: EVERYWHERE
Cost: 75+* RMB
Domestic Attention Level: HORDES

* Not as cool if great grandma sews it for you

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