China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

The War on Dreams: Part IX

Caging the Lions

A general warning issued today by the DNDC [Department of National Dream Control] demonstrated that results were in fact found during its much-criticized, multi-billion dollar, year-long undercover infiltration operation: “Please beware! Among the Dreamers’ secretive and powerful arsenal of WMDs (weapons of mass distraction) rests the epitome of all evil idleness: The Kitten. If you or anyone you know comes in contact with this small cat-like animal, please cage it and hand it over to the authorities immediately. Do your part to keep the dream war out of your community!”

Following the announcement, State scientists renamed the kitten “the smitten-er” (or smiter). “King of the Jumble” has also been labeled as appropriate. Government agencies have asked anyone inclined to describe the smittener as “soft, fuzzy and/or cute” to please step forward for mandatory re-education. The smittener is a deadly concern for all that is serious, strong and right. Remember: “The smaller the cat, the bigger the worry.”

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