China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

The First Modern Wonder of the World

Here it is folks, the most recent Wonder of the World. The man with the floating hat. Watch as he struts along, the hat bobbing four solid feet above his head in mid air. “Trickery!” you may say – or worse, “Impossible.”

Well folks, I can guarantee, five hundred percent, that this here man and his giant hat are as real as gou rou, as truthful as the number four.

Let’s assume for propriety’s sake that this is a trick of magic, that this man and this giant niuzaimao are unacquainted. This hat is away on private business. But what business could a cowboy hat possibly have flying around by itself in Shanghai’s French Quarter? Everyone knows that’s a dangerous part of town and, to top it off, French people hate cowboy paraphernalia, especially cowboy hats. So here is the lonely niuzaimao in the treacherous city, halfway up a wall, all by itself. One must ask, how did it get there? It is common knowledge that cowboy hats possess no legs for walking, flippers for swimming, nor wings for flying. No, they fly only when lofted by wind, man, or beast, and a hat of this magnitude – only a manly beast or a beastly wind. Ladies and gentlemen, it is clear. This hat is not sailing through the air, plotting it’s own hapless course. It sits steadily in its place, still enough for my humble picture taking device to capture it clearly. Does this hat appear entirely dirty, misshapen and torn? For those are the characteristics of a free hat. No, no, no, impossible. This hat is as domestic as a doorknob, as self reliant as a teenager. To think this hat without a master is ridiculous. Therefore, the opposite must be true. Thus applaud the man and his floating giant hat for the burden on his shoulders is heavier than appears. He carries with him the Wonder of the World.

One Response to “The First Modern Wonder of the World”

  1. […] you fine, intelligent people are all aware, for millennia the land of the Great Wall, Gunpowder and The Floating Hat has been miles ahead of the competition. Now folks, don’t panic! but kindly lift your chin […]

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