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CHINA NOT AWARE THAT PIZZA HUT IS SHITTY


Nanjing, CHINA – Judging by the snaking lines extending from the entrances of Pizza Huts throughout the city, its seems that the American company has, in our modern parlance, “pulled a fast one” on the most populous nation on Earth. The red herding tape, fancy menus, pseudo-Italian decor, and overeager greeting crew all combine to suggest to unwitting diners that they have stepped into a high-class establishment worth waiting an hour for, while actually lowering their standards of quality. Customers seem undeterred by the bizarre texture or flavor of the pies, which resemble deep-fried seat cushions and are topped with plastic cheese. “It is obviously good pizza,” said one contented patron. “I’ve never tasted any other pizza, but this is famous America chain restaurant, so I think it very delicious.”

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