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CHINA ANNOUNCES NEW POST-OLYMPIC SLOGAN


Nanjing, CHINA – In effort to more accurately describe their society as a whole, China has stopped the excessive use of phrases such as “One World, One Dream” and “Stronger, Swifter, Higher, Faster,” and instead adopted the term “Zero Delicacy.” Created earlier this month after years of research by The People’s Central Search Committee for Appropriate Chinese Tendencies (P.C. ACT), the Zero Delicacy Campaign is thought to be both the least ambitious and most likely to succeed of the country’s recent social campaigns. “We were just so tired of not getting anything done,” said one member of the committee who spoke to us anonymously over the telephone. “The Zero Delicacy Campaign lets Chinese people act Chinese. It encourages them to spit in the restaurant, yell into their mobile phone on the subway, stare at foreigners, pee on the street, etc. It doesn’t tell them they need to change. The people love it.”

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