Dear Young Man Using Your Motorcycle to Blow Bubbles in the Yangtze,
I don’t know who you impressed more: us, the woman doing her laundry, or the man soaking his motorcycle downstream. To be honest, your objective was unclear. Our top three theories as to what exactly it was that you were doing are:
1. Introducing the newest wave of nationalist zeal, “Anti-Environmental-Propaganda.”
2. Washing/ruining your bike the lazy way.
3. Testing the waters, so to speak, you knowing perhaps less than us about your actions.
The third and most likely idea is the reason that we were so impressed. Every day we are puzzled by the seemingly senseless acts of you compatriots. Somewhere between letting your children urinate on the supermarket floor, tearing up both sides of the roads, the buildings, and the sidewalks all over the city at the same time, and hawking/spitting giant loogies, there is progress. This progress is not tangible but somehow every Chinese person is acutely aware of it.
Ask any student and they will tell you that China is growing stronger. Ask them “how?”and they will offer only the conjectural information induced from government issued textbooks and news. Every answer is the same and every answer evasive. So, as rational beings of the west, we must assume yours to be a nation of magicians (knowing of course that even magicians don’t always understand how magic works).
I think, what we really wanted to say, young man, is that your sorcery is top of the line. Though you were probably skipping school to perform it, we want to encourage you. Don’t give up. Maybe someday you will make the entire river bubble.
This Ridiculous World