China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Dear Woman Who Handed Me Her Baby and Began to Walk Away

Dear Woman Who Handed Me Her Baby and Began to Walk Away,

Not cool. I don’t know which I was more afraid of: you running off and leaving the snoring little creature in my hands, or the snoring little creature releasing its processed meal through its assless pants and onto my hands.

Though we smiled for your picture, it doesn’t mean we were happy. For you see, foreigners possess this strange ability that allows them to thinly mask their true emotions with the widely recognized symbol of happiness. To understand what lies beyond my grin, simply look down to the baby and notice that I am holding it as though it is a spider covered watermelon.

Also, I don’t know if you know this, but your little future president of the world has a Chinese flag sticker stuck to the skin of its left bicep. Maybe that’s cool here, but it seems more appropriate for a school binder, car bumper or possibly a bathroom stall.

To review, don’t stop random foreigners on the street and hand your baby to them, and foreign babies don’t wear stickers. That’s all I really wanted to say to you. Otherwise, I hope you create a good story for your picture of the two uncomfortable foreigners with your child.


This Ridiculous World

One Response to “Dear Woman Who Handed Me Her Baby and Began to Walk Away”

  1. Nevada Mojo Rising says:

    OMG! I love this post!


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