China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Dear Ms. Mazut (Winner of 2nd Premium Pea Prize at the Alaska State Fair)


Dear Ms. Mazut (Winner of 2nd Premium Pea Prize at the Alaska State Fair),

We can see how you’d be confused. Since you entered produce in the Alaska State Fair, you are probably from the nearest town, Wasilla, a place known for little more than in-breeding and pregnant teens. Perhaps you have never seen a Chinese person. Perhaps, like our great governor, you have never left the continent and therefore must rely on other’s experiences and interpretations of the world.

Maybe you heard that Chinese people’s faces are round. It is possible that you heard that they think white skin is very beautiful and even go so far as bleach to achieve this pallor. It is even possible that you heard that they are small and thin. But, is it possible that you heard (and believed) that they are small, thin, green peas on a white paper plate?

No.

Though your ignorance astounds, this is one step too far. We do not believe you. Everyone, even people from Wasilla, know that peas and people are COMPLETELY different species.

So, Ms. Mazut, though your trick may have worked this year earning you a “Second Premium” at the Alaska State Fair, we want you to know that we’re onto you. Sarah Palin has turned the world’s spotlight onto your town and this sort of silliness will no longer be tolerated. All over the world people are hearing the name of your town, “Wasilla.” Soon you may have real live Chinese people roaming the aisles of your Walmart. And, though they do like to eat many things, including peas, they are certainly not cannibals and will not take your little joke lightly. Even the most adventurous Chinese eater is not a Chinese eater.

You can consider this a friendly warning. Next year you might think about using a name you’re familiar with like: “Obesity,” “Learning Disorder,” or “McDonalds.”

Good Luck!

This Ridiculous World

One Response to “Dear Ms. Mazut (Winner of 2nd Premium Pea Prize at the Alaska State Fair)”

  1. MyLaowai says:

    nd, though they do like to eat many things, including peas, they are certainly not cannibals and will not take your little joke lightly. Even the most adventurous Chinese eater is not a Chinese eater.*

    * Except in Guangdong, where aborted foetus is an accepted dish.

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