China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Dear Doggie in the Window

Dear Doggie in the Window,

You are not the first of your kind to be pictured on this page, nor the first to be the subject of our thoughts. Indeed, you are not even the first canine to be addressed here in the second person, human to dog, via missive. However, let none of this suggest to you any lack of sincerity in our words. You have your special place in it all, and no one will take that from you.

There you are, in your place. I won’t feed you falsities and flattery – I’m sure you get more than enough of that on the other side of that window, judging, that is, from the regal pose you strike each morning on your sill. You have the look of a dog who thinks he’s much bigger and much cuter than he is. Now, while it is not my intention to deflate your much needed self-esteem, you could stand to lower that snout just a inch or so.

Or perhaps I have you wrong. After all, our interpretations of things are known to be less than objective. Let me give it a shot – I’ll cast away all assumptions and lapdog biases and try for a pure, impartial impression based solely on the empirical evidence. I will judge nothing!

What do I see? Your window, set within a gray (perhaps taupe), concrete wall. A potted plant. A hanging mop, turquoise handle. A metal drying rack. Slippers. Shoe soles, dangling from a mobile along with a small towel. Blue awning. Bright, oversized picture writing. And you, a small species of animal with light sand-toned fur, prognathism, squinting eyes, and ears.

Oh, but that got us nowhere. We already had a picture! What good is further description? So you see, dog, interpretation is all I have, and unless you change your manner, I will continue to surmise that you think yourself very handsome, and that you hold a very snobbish opinion of everything below you.


This Ridiculous World

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