China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Dear Clairvoyant Supermarket Employee

Dear clairvoyant supermarket employee,

You are incredible.

We were so confused and overwhelmed, as usual, staring wishfully at a wall of oil, the loud speaker blaring gibberish over the bananas, the clanking carts that don’t fit in the aisles, the strange smells – all under florescent lights giving an eerily surreal movie set feeling to it all. YOU, you saw us and let us meander a while, watching as our eyes focused and unfocused on the different bottles and foreign picture writing. YOU, so nonchalant that we didn’t even notice you watching us. You knew. We were about to give up. You were not like the others – the swarms of women in blue, always trying to “help,” always suggesting – such aggressive salesmanship – handing us double packs of laundry detergent and motioning to the big, shiny stereos. You knew we didn’t want a five-gallon jug of fish oil. You gestured. We followed. You pointed. You saw the way our eyes expanded as you offered us the perfect size bottle of the much-pursued product. PEANUT OIL! Perfect! “Dui, hao, xiexie, xiexie ni.” Incredible. Thank you supermarket employee who read our minds and gave us peanut oil. Thank you.

Love,

This Ridiculous World

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