You “noxious cocktail” you! Your intoxicating side effects have gone too far! Melting the glaciers! Poisoning the water supplies! We’re not teetotalers but we do know our limits and you sir, have surpassed them. You are seeped with languor. As you kill the denizens of this ancient land have you any remorse? And what of the crops you ruin? People in are starving in these countries you so thoughtlessly haunt.
And now we see you outside our window! The nerve! You seem to swallow the butcher two floors below. If only you had the power to erase sound too. But you don’t. You stultify our lives, reducing our surroundings to the dirty floor and walls of our worn abode. You limit our ability to laugh by making our chests heavy at rest. To us, you are all bad and no good. Frankly, what we’re trying to say, you dun colored blanket of lung disease, is that we’re tired of you turning our white shirts brown in the rain. We miss the sun.
We know this isn’t easy for you to hear. Especially since the locals seem to like you, at least enough to keep constantly feeding you. It is ignorance, not kindness. They don’t like you any more than we do. You are fed by a collective whole of many individuals who don’t realize their actions sustain you. Please realize this is an honest mistake and stop loitering outside our window.
We understand that you are accustomed to communicating only with scientists. Though we’re not scientists (obvious through the readability of this letter), we are fairly confident that a scientist or two would encourage our suggestion that you find another planet. There are many nearby and you may even be able to find one that is home to other noxious clouds just like you. In other words, we don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but: PLEASE GO AWAY!
This Ridiculous World