China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

BANG!! BOOOM!! KABLAMANO!!!!!

Thousands of years since the Chinese first launched explosive projectiles at the unsuspecting Mongol hordes, they have refined their pyrotechnic technology and given it a new purpose – the simulation of a massive artillery invasion from the banks of the Yangtze. Or, at least, that is how it sounded to two jet-lagged and confused travelers trying to sleep at the reasonable hour of 6 pm. Needless to say, trying to sleep during such an assault was/is futile – and although we were unable to spot the light show from our balcony, we could watch the sound-activated lights in the stairwell dance under the conducting of the scattered blasts.
For China – the proud inventor of gunpowder – every day is a suitable occasion for the deployment of a magnificent fireworks display, be it Saturday eve or Tuesday morning, for no other reason, I suppose, than to celebrate the invention of gunpowder itself.
While a colorful show is of course appreciated, darkness is hardly a requisite. The Chinese have a different ideal in mind: the louder the better. If it doesn’t threaten to unhinge the doors from their frames, it isn’t powerful enough. It is said that explosions frighten away evil (and apparently skittish) spirits, so if they happen to shatter a few windows in the process, so be it.
However, in the unlikely event of a real artillery assault, I fear that the populace of this city may be a bit too accustomed to the sounds of rocketry and destruction to notice before their Mahjong tables go flying… BANG, BOOM, KABLAMANO!

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