China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week

Just Another Day at a Chinese School

Just Another Day at a Chinese School

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Twas the Night Before Xmas in China

Twas the Night Before Xmas in China

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 54* A Visit from the Earplugs and Beer Man ‘Twas the night before Xmas and all through the city, Not a whore was motionless, not even the un-pretty. The sausages hung from the wires with care, In hopes that Sheng Dan Lao Ren soon would be there. The foreigners […]


Safety When Driving: Wal-Mart, China, and the American Dream

Safety When Driving: Wal-Mart, China, and the American Dream

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 2.02 Finally, America’s own version of the Chinese fire drill is over. Close the doors. Time to move on. But in the wake of so many changes, as the anxiety and rage of all sides subsides, it is natural to wonder: what is America? What kind of a place […]


Thank You China

Thank You China

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 2.01 It’s about time we told you. We came back. A lot of famous things have been said about home: it’s “why I keep returning,” it’s “where I want to be,” it’s “always so exciting,” etc. All catchy ideas that I’ll admit to singing along with and perhaps even […]


The Long Lost Vestments of American Reason

The Long Lost Vestments of American Reason

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 68 In the dark corner of a far away forlorn church stand these three forgotten souls. Bruised, dirty, chipped and abandoned they doze like wallflowers in the shadows as patrons play hooky for every reason but lack of sin. In their bright vestments creased with dust the saints and […]


Summer in China – A Season for Leaving

Summer in China - A Season for Leaving

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 67 When it’s 90 plus degrees with 100% humidity and your neighbor’s coal smoke is pumping along with the encephalitis mosquitoes through your broken window screen and down on the street the men who actually wear shirts have them rolled up past their nipples, while inside your apartment the […]


How We Changed the World

How We Changed the World

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 66 “Together we can change the world” she said to me that night. We were watching my favorite show. She knew I didn’t like her to talk to me when it was on. I looked at her in a moment of drawn out suspense. From the sweat beaded above […]


Tao and the Art of Hippopotamus Maintenance

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 65 Hey! You! Hippopotamus! Yeah, you. Can you take a hint? I’ll crouch here, wiping this soapy water over my non-smelly motorbike while you fat, needy beast wallow there in your own filth with a perfectly good bathtub not 5 feet away. You’d think you’re some sort of Mongol […]


The View From the Top

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 64 There is a new stench in the monkey house. In addition to the usual miasma of scattered manure and stale ejaculations that your primordial brethren so love to assault your intruding nasal passages with lay heaps of molding unconsumed Chinese food morsels, at once proving the ape’s superior […]


The Chinese Hiker

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 63 In search of silence pebbles pierce thinned street soles backs angled under iceberg burdens small to the eye, heavy on the mind. As a parched tongue receives a rush of water so our ears dance freely to the curses of the wind bleating goats echo like church bells […]


Swinging to Freedom

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 62 The boy stands spinning the long thread of twisted foil with unfettered fascination. His eyes, in following the shiny extension of his arm, cause his head to move in small circular nods as though also attached to the magical whip. Much like the powers of Dorthy’s tornado, this […]


The Great Noodle Man Enlightens His Son

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 61 “Baba, where is our roof?” “Aiyo! Do not be so ignorant. Even a simple man could see that it has been harmonized.” “But Baba, why our roof and not the Tailor’s next door?” “Ungracious too! Have I raised a horse’s ass? You know very well that we are […]


The Last of the Really Great Idlers

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 60 See that mark? That carefully printed red symbol on the far right that looks similar to the tattoos American teenagers like to have injected permanently into their skin? Unlike those, this is not a sign of innocence. This is the chai, indicating the approach of doom. The mark […]


Yi! Er! San! GO!

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 59 It doesn’t matter that this lineup of eager drivers is waiting for the signal in Hanoi, Vietnam. It’s no different than in China, except maybe the fact that these people are wearing helmets and are actually waiting. All of Asia thinks they’re racing. I’ve known this for a […]


Little Red Killing Hood

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 58 A Bedtime Story Once there lived a little gun made of the finest metals called Little Red Killing Hood. She was a spoiled gun as both her Country and the World loved her very much. One day, when her Country was making trouble, it said, “My child, you […]


THIS IS GARBAGE!

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 57 Garbage garbage all over the place, In your belly, On your face. Garbage for seeing, Garbage for yelling, Garbage for listening, Garbage for smelling. If it weren’t for garbage I don’t know what I’d do, Certainly this poem wouldn’t be here for you. Share this:


The Art of Architecture in 21st Century Urban China

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 56 Once upon a time, shelter was constructed from only so much as sticks, mud, and skin. The functionality of these primitive structures was basic and limited. They provided mild protection from the elements and a sense of warmth to cold bodies. To the inhabitants of the era they […]


How I Became a Middle Aged Chinese Woman

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 55 As I lay strategically flattened to the bed so that my nose pours steadily through a box of tissues instead of down into my lungs, and the pressure on the back of my eyes forces me to squeeze them small into a squint so as to prevent them […]


Twas the Night Before Xmas in China

Twas the Night Before Xmas in China

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 54 A Visit from the Earplugs and Beer Man ‘Twas the night before Xmas and all through the city, Not a whore was motionless, not even the un-pretty. The sausages hung from the wires with care, In hopes that Sheng Dan Lao Ren soon would be there. The foreigners […]


Cleavermas

Totally Awesome Picture of the week 53 Is this how you feel? As though you’ve been stripped naked, skewered through the eye sockets and rotated continuously from bright light to roasting flame, flopping lewdly at the mercy of gravity, doing your best to keep what’s left of your eyes on the man with the cleaver, […]


In the Shadow of the Great Wall

Totally Awesome Picture of the week 52 “Makin it civilized, makin it fine, oh, we’re building a wall, so they can knock down mine!” – verse one of the contemporary workers tune Ode to the Hutongs A renaissance of blue-collar work-related musical creativity seems to be occurring throughout China. “Along with spreading capitalistic tendencies for […]


I Am Thankful that this Moment Has Passed

Totally Awesome Picture of the week 51 I am thankful for my engaged and polite students who stay in their seats and don’t bury my activity sheets in homework from other classes. I am thankful for those students who don’t backtalk and the non-smart ass 12 year-olds who don’t believe a photocopied book over their […]


But You Can’t Take the Stoop out of the Man

Totally Awesome Picture of the week 50 Oh to kick it on the stoop. Watching traffic with a lukewarm Tsing Tao and a radio buzzing federal propaganda. Wearing snoopy pajamas and slippers. The ideal everyday afternoon. The perfect demonstration of leisure. But alas! My home, my stoop, my radio, the cushion of my chair, even […]


Buy it, Yell it, Sell it: “YES WE CAN!”

Totally Awesome Picture of the week 49 “The power of Dreams! The Happiest Place on Earth. Think outside the bun! Taste the rainbow. Just do it! Be all that you can be. Just for the taste of it! Have it your way. Obey your thirst! I’m lovin’ it. They’re GRRREAT! Melts in your mouth, not […]