China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Prime Real Estate

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ012PRC

What this substantial piece of city land is doing unpaved and undeveloped is a mystery of commerce and real estate. Whatever the reason, that red flag piercing the mud surely indicates a coming edifice. A new age high rise, perhaps? Another shopping mall? Share this:

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ011PRC

Who doesn’t like to stare off into the beautiful coal filled abyss of nothingness? And, more pertinently, who can afford such a luxury in China? You? Perfect. This is your dream home. The street sound free/view free apartments start on the 50th floor and rise to heaven. No more will you hear the cardboard man’s […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ010PRC

Oh, China. The name alone evokes images of sprinklers arcing over trim, green lawns; neat lines of white picket fences; rocking chairs on the porch with pitchers full of lemonade; apple pie cooling on window sills; wide, winding avenues depositing family vehicles into their personal driveways and into their spacious, separate homes… no? Wrong country? […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ009PRC

When Henry D. Thoreau went off on his famous experiment in living simply and deliberately, he need not to have constructed his own cabin in the woods – he could have come over to China, to this little metal-roofed monument to truth. While there may be no pond to reflect upon, there are ample puddles […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ008PRC

This handsome structure is a classic – even the grime coating the exterior is original. While it may not scream luxury or social prominence, this architectural ode to grayness allows its many residents the comfort of knowing they are living in a building erected at the absolute lowest cost possible – no frills, no silly […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ007PRC

Mobility! Nature! Simplicity! Here one of the great ironies of modern life presents itself in full – by opting against a central location, the endless conveniences of a civilized city, and the benefits of living elbow to elbow in a thirty-floor cement block, you may actually be able to find peace, quiet, and space in […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ006PRC

This property aims to dissolve the border between Civilization and Nature, to open the possibility for a more harmonious, organic life. The load-bearing tree’s canopy combines with fabricated materials to create shelter in a most ‘original’ sense, and an inviting open-air patio lures inhabitants in like the suggestive mouth of a cave. Always changing, it […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ005PRC

Offering the same views as the pricey new apartments across the way, this rooftop abode includes an expansive terrace overlooking Zhong Shan Road, the perfect spot for a barbecue or sweeping your garbage onto pedestrians’ heads. If your children fail the entrance examination to the adjoining high school, they can always climb through the bathroom […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ004PRC

This property proves that privacy is no more than bourgeois decadence. In place of four walls, the living room of this home enjoys all the benefits of openness – natural breezes in place of sterile air conditioning, the red sun instead of pricey fluorescents, and panoramic views. There is also plenty to foster the children’s […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # HBYC001PRC

The chance of a lifetime! A countryside home fit for royalty – or savagery. As the proud new owner, you could decide its fate. Offering an intricately painted stairwell, large front porch and pristine view, this airy studio sits fewer than 200 steps from the regionally famous Whitehorse cave. “Barbarous” lawn ornaments, hanging corn, warrior […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ003PRC

Prime Real Estate - Property # JSNJ003PRC

A solid two stories of concrete set on a pedestrian-heavy thoroughfare, with outdoor sink, doormat, and space for a bicycle. Offers an unbeatable view of both the butcher’s table and the tofu stand – the perfect vantage point for swiping a hunk of pork when the vendors get distracted by skirmishes down the street. Impending […]

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ002PRC

A cozy and convenient ground floor home, with windows, AC, and a high-tech thumb-less entry system so all important members of the family can come and go as they please (like Uncle Zhu who was a little too quick with the cleaver). Share this:

Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ001PRC

A little house on the corner. Second floor only. Well designed over a popular Western Chinese bun restaurant. Intricate wood work hearkens the old days when care was put into even the outer most walls of a living establishment. Perfect for watching arguments between the chicken death bike lady and the vegetable man. Act now, […]