China-focused Satire, Social Commentary, Comics and More

Nanjing

Twas the Night Before Xmas in China

Twas the Night Before Xmas in China

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 54* A Visit from the Earplugs and Beer Man ‘Twas the night before Xmas and all through the city, Not a whore was motionless, not even the un-pretty. The sausages hung from the wires with care, In hopes that Sheng Dan Lao Ren soon would be there. The foreigners […]


Dear Sichuan Monarch Sanitary Ware Co., Ltd.

Dear Sichuan Monarch Sanitary Ware Co., Ltd.

Dear Sichuan Monarch Sanitary Ware Co., Ltd., Let’s begin with a scenario: We are walking along the streets of Nanjing, two years past, when a chocolate-brown bus comes hurtling by, its entire visible body transformed into advertising space. It does not feature an airbrushed Taiwanese corn juice model, but instead an oversized naked white child […]


Corn Juice for the Masses

Corn Juice for the Masses

Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily episode 31 Before you start accusing us of focusing on the poor, fading laundry as part of our own Antonioni scheme to sabotage the world’s image of an entire nation, let us be clear: we are more interested in the one small bright square so carefully preserved like some tiny peep […]


Face Value

Face Value

The Nanjing Galaxy Yacht Club floats securely in the yellowish, turbid water of the Yangtze River. The neighborhood – in the northwest of the city, far from the Ming Dynasty wall – is mostly industrial. Not far upstream is the famous Yangtze River Bridge, a dark, ominous shape stretching across the water. There are no […]


New Year Predictions

New Year Predictions

The niu year has now passed. While it may be inauspicious to go digging up old news and past grudges, a quick rummaging through our archives has revealed a few loose tigers, so to speak, which deserve a bit of the spotlight on this festive day. And perhaps they can help us in our unsolicited […]


What Are Sidewalks For? Answer #22

What Are Sidewalks For? Answer #22

Explosives Share this:


Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ012PRC

What this substantial piece of city land is doing unpaved and undeveloped is a mystery of commerce and real estate. Whatever the reason, that red flag piercing the mud surely indicates a coming edifice. A new age high rise, perhaps? Another shopping mall? Share this:


Students Undisturbed by Disturbance at Chinese High School

Nanjing, CHINA – After three days of continuous drilling the unidentified mustached man on the ladder finally made it through the cement and brick wall and into lucky classroom 8. Though his workspace partially blocked the steps of the entrance to the main building the man’s progress went unimpeded and unquestioned throughout. Students of class […]


This Ridiculous World Guide: China – Garbage Vessels

This Ridiculous World Guide: China - Garbage Vessels

Coming from America, or some nation similarly skilled in methods of clandestine waste removal – with magic, automatic flush toilets; color-coded trash bins; and troops of picker-uppers who carouse the streets in great machines with as much authority as fire engines – such unglamorous, undisguised removal may be a bit shocking. Here in this ancient […]


What Are Sidewalks For? Answer #21


What We Could Sell if Only We Owned a Tricycle: Idea 15

What We Could Sell if Only We Owned a Tricycle: Idea 15

Oily Snacks for the Zoo-goers Share this:


The Fourth Modern Wonder of the World

The Fourth Modern Wonder of the World

Don’t make light of this folks! This sophisticated sorceress of polyester tunics and sequined stretch capris is more than a granny before her time! That’s right ladies and gentlemen, this here happy momma has more surprises than a Magic Marker and more class than an Asian high school student! You may have a difficult time […]


Summer in China – A Season for Leaving

Summer in China - A Season for Leaving

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 67 When it’s 90 plus degrees with 100% humidity and your neighbor’s coal smoke is pumping along with the encephalitis mosquitoes through your broken window screen and down on the street the men who actually wear shirts have them rolled up past their nipples, while inside your apartment the […]


What Are Sidewalks For? Answer #20


The Third Modern Wonder of the World

The Third Modern Wonder of the World

Somewhere far from the ancient city wall, beyond the outskirts and ghettos and ghost towns, myth tells us of a magnificent metropolis of liquid delight. No foreign eye has ever beheld its interior, though a few claim to have reached its outer wall. There, it is said, the air is so dense from the evaporation […]


Quarantine vs Guacamole 2009 -OR- Children’s Day: Best Day Ever.

On this holiday in 2008 the Olympic torch passed over the quaint dam nearby and into our city of Yichang. This year’s big event, best known as Swine Flu, made a surprise appearance in the form of an alleged Nanjing city-wide mandate for foreigners to be quarantined (in their personal apartments) for a week upon […]


Dear Doggie in the Window

Dear Doggie in the Window, You are not the first of your kind to be pictured on this page, nor the first to be the subject of our thoughts. Indeed, you are not even the first canine to be addressed here in the second person, human to dog, via missive. However, let none of this […]


Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ011PRC

Who doesn’t like to stare off into the beautiful coal filled abyss of nothingness? And, more pertinently, who can afford such a luxury in China? You? Perfect. This is your dream home. The street sound free/view free apartments start on the 50th floor and rise to heaven. No more will you hear the cardboard man’s […]


Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ010PRC

Oh, China. The name alone evokes images of sprinklers arcing over trim, green lawns; neat lines of white picket fences; rocking chairs on the porch with pitchers full of lemonade; apple pie cooling on window sills; wide, winding avenues depositing family vehicles into their personal driveways and into their spacious, separate homes… no? Wrong country? […]


The War on Dreams: Part XII

The War on Dreams: Part XII

Attention: What to do if you come across a poster such as this one: smash, destroy, beat, bash, mutilate, hammer, ram, stomp, pound, or otherwise hit until you are certain that all dissenting messages have been fully eradicated! It is your duty as a citizen to protect the sanctity of street-side advertising panels – never […]


Prime Real Estate – Property # JSNJ009PRC

When Henry D. Thoreau went off on his famous experiment in living simply and deliberately, he need not to have constructed his own cabin in the woods – he could have come over to China, to this little metal-roofed monument to truth. While there may be no pond to reflect upon, there are ample puddles […]


Tao and the Art of Hippopotamus Maintenance

Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 65 Hey! You! Hippopotamus! Yeah, you. Can you take a hint? I’ll crouch here, wiping this soapy water over my non-smelly motorbike while you fat, needy beast wallow there in your own filth with a perfectly good bathtub not 5 feet away. You’d think you’re some sort of Mongol […]


Traces of Progress: Irresistible Promotions

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Signs of Thought 5