Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 54* A Visit from the Earplugs and Beer Man ‘Twas the night before Xmas and all through the city, Not a whore was motionless, not even the un-pretty. The sausages hung from the wires with care, In hopes that Sheng Dan Lao Ren soon would be there. The foreigners [...]
Dec 25, 2010 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Totally Awesome Picture of the Week | Tags: Chinese, chinglish, christmas, Foreigners in China, Humor, Poetry | Leave A Comment »
Dear Sichuan Monarch Sanitary Ware Co., Ltd., Let’s begin with a scenario: We are walking along the streets of Nanjing, two years past, when a chocolate-brown bus comes hurtling by, its entire visible body transformed into advertising space. It does not feature an airbrushed Taiwanese corn juice model, but instead an oversized naked white child [...]
Sep 28, 2010 | Categories: China, Jinhua, Letters to Whomever, Nanjing | Tags: advertising, children, monarch, peeing, sanitary wares, toilets, urine | 4 Comments »
Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily episode 31 Before you start accusing us of focusing on the poor, fading laundry as part of our own Antonioni scheme to sabotage the world’s image of an entire nation, let us be clear: we are more interested in the one small bright square so carefully preserved like some tiny peep [...]
Mar 05, 2010 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily | Tags: Antonioni, beverages, cement, chai, Cina, consumerism, corn juice, corny, destruction, development, drinks, Expat, laundry, Progress, social commentary, tea, the future, Travel | 3 Comments »
The Nanjing Galaxy Yacht Club floats securely in the yellowish, turbid water of the Yangtze River. The neighborhood – in the northwest of the city, far from the Ming Dynasty wall – is mostly industrial. Not far upstream is the famous Yangtze River Bridge, a dark, ominous shape stretching across the water. There are no [...]
Feb 27, 2010 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Yichang | Tags: chinese schools, dinner, Expat, face, foreigners, payment, promotion, Propaganda, teachers, teaching english, Travel, yacht club | 3 Comments »
The niu year has now passed. While it may be inauspicious to go digging up old news and past grudges, a quick rummaging through our archives has revealed a few loose tigers, so to speak, which deserve a bit of the spotlight on this festive day. And perhaps they can help us in our unsolicited [...]
Feb 15, 2010 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Yichang | Tags: animal rights, animals, chinese new year, festival, holiday, predictions, Tiger Leaping Gorge, tigers | 4 Comments »
What this substantial piece of city land is doing unpaved and undeveloped is a mystery of commerce and real estate. Whatever the reason, that red flag piercing the mud surely indicates a coming edifice. A new age high rise, perhaps? Another shopping mall? Share this:EmailRedditStumbleUponDigg
Jun 17, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Prime Real Estate | Tags: building, chinese construction, Humor, land, mud, property, real estate, social commentary | 1 Comment »
Nanjing, CHINA – After three days of continuous drilling the unidentified mustached man on the ladder finally made it through the cement and brick wall and into lucky classroom 8. Though his workspace partially blocked the steps of the entrance to the main building the man’s progress went unimpeded and unquestioned throughout. Students of class [...]
Jun 16, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, NEWS FLASH | Tags: cell phones, Chinese education, Chinese students, drilling, foreign teachers, Humor, social commentary | 1 Comment »
Coming from America, or some nation similarly skilled in methods of clandestine waste removal – with magic, automatic flush toilets; color-coded trash bins; and troops of picker-uppers who carouse the streets in great machines with as much authority as fire engines – such unglamorous, undisguised removal may be a bit shocking. Here in this ancient [...]
Jun 15, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, This Ridiculous World Guide | Tags: excrement, garbage, Humor, refuse, slop buckets, social commentary, Trash, waste | Leave A Comment »
Oily Snacks for the Zoo-goers Share this:EmailRedditStumbleUponDigg
Jun 12, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, What We Could Sell if Only We Owned a Tricycle | Tags: greasy food, Humor, metro station, nanjing zoo, potstickers, snacks, Street Food, tricycle | Leave A Comment »
Don’t make light of this folks! This sophisticated sorceress of polyester tunics and sequined stretch capris is more than a granny before her time! That’s right ladies and gentlemen, this here happy momma has more surprises than a Magic Marker and more class than an Asian high school student! You may have a difficult time [...]
Jun 11, 2009 | Categories: China, Modern Wonders of the World, Nanjing | Tags: alchemy, chinese fashion, chinese people with bleached hair, gold, Humor, poop, sideshow, social commentary | Leave A Comment »
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Jun 10, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Traces of Progress | Tags: ash trays, Chinese Food, chinese teachers, cucumber, eating cucumbers like candy, Humor, middle school teachers lounge, social commentary | Leave A Comment »
Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 67 When it’s 90 plus degrees with 100% humidity and your neighbor’s coal smoke is pumping along with the encephalitis mosquitoes through your broken window screen and down on the street the men who actually wear shirts have them rolled up past their nipples, while inside your apartment the [...]
Jun 09, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Totally Awesome Picture of the Week | Tags: chinese people, expats, foreigners, Gross, hot, humidity, Humor, leaving, rain, social commentary, stinky, summer, the butcher | Leave A Comment »
Somewhere far from the ancient city wall, beyond the outskirts and ghettos and ghost towns, myth tells us of a magnificent metropolis of liquid delight. No foreign eye has ever beheld its interior, though a few claim to have reached its outer wall. There, it is said, the air is so dense from the evaporation [...]
Jun 02, 2009 | Categories: China, Modern Wonders of the World, Nanjing | Tags: bai jiu, booze, cities, Humor, liquor, lost city of atlantis, monuments, myth, social commentary, wonders | Leave A Comment »
On this holiday in 2008 the Olympic torch passed over the quaint dam nearby and into our city of Yichang. This year’s big event, best known as Swine Flu, made a surprise appearance in the form of an alleged Nanjing city-wide mandate for foreigners to be quarantined (in their personal apartments) for a week upon [...]
Jun 01, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, NEWS FLASH, Yichang | Tags: Children's Day, Foreigners in China, Humor, kids with toy guns, little emperor, one child policy, quarantine, social commentary, spoiled brats, swine flu, tired parents | Leave A Comment »
Dear Doggie in the Window, You are not the first of your kind to be pictured on this page, nor the first to be the subject of our thoughts. Indeed, you are not even the first canine to be addressed here in the second person, human to dog, via missive. However, let none of this [...]
May 30, 2009 | Categories: China, Letters to Whomever, Nanjing | Tags: Dogs, Humor, mutts, social commentary, talking to animals, ugly lap dogs | Leave A Comment »
Who doesn’t like to stare off into the beautiful coal filled abyss of nothingness? And, more pertinently, who can afford such a luxury in China? You? Perfect. This is your dream home. The street sound free/view free apartments start on the 50th floor and rise to heaven. No more will you hear the cardboard man’s [...]
May 29, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Prime Real Estate | Tags: air, buildings, Humor, living space, nothingness, real estate, skyscrapers, smog, social commentary, the future, views | Leave A Comment »
Oh, China. The name alone evokes images of sprinklers arcing over trim, green lawns; neat lines of white picket fences; rocking chairs on the porch with pitchers full of lemonade; apple pie cooling on window sills; wide, winding avenues depositing family vehicles into their personal driveways and into their spacious, separate homes… no? Wrong country? [...]
May 23, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Prime Real Estate | Tags: Chinese houses, Humor, lawns, picket fence, social commentary, suburban homes | Leave A Comment »
Attention: What to do if you come across a poster such as this one: smash, destroy, beat, bash, mutilate, hammer, ram, stomp, pound, or otherwise hit until you are certain that all dissenting messages have been fully eradicated! It is your duty as a citizen to protect the sanctity of street-side advertising panels – never [...]
May 16, 2009 | Categories: America, China, Nanjing, War on Dreams | Tags: dissent, dreamers, Dreams, education, Humor, posters, programming, smashing, social commentary, war on drugs | Leave A Comment »
When Henry D. Thoreau went off on his famous experiment in living simply and deliberately, he need not to have constructed his own cabin in the woods – he could have come over to China, to this little metal-roofed monument to truth. While there may be no pond to reflect upon, there are ample puddles [...]
May 14, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Prime Real Estate | Tags: garbage juice, henry david thoreau, Humor, karaoke, KTV, necessities of life, property, real estate, social commentary, walden pond | Leave A Comment »
Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 65 Hey! You! Hippopotamus! Yeah, you. Can you take a hint? I’ll crouch here, wiping this soapy water over my non-smelly motorbike while you fat, needy beast wallow there in your own filth with a perfectly good bathtub not 5 feet away. You’d think you’re some sort of Mongol [...]
May 12, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Totally Awesome Picture of the Week | Tags: chinese zoo, foreigners, hippopotamus, Humor, maintenance, mammals, round eyes, smelly animals, stinky, washing motorbikes | 2 Comments »
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May 10, 2009 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Traces of Progress | Tags: advertisements, fast food, giant pictures of food, hamburgers, Humor, mcdonalds, people standing really close to walls, promotions, social commentary | 2 Comments »
Corn Juice for the Masses
Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily episode 31 Before you start accusing us of focusing on the poor, fading laundry as part of our own Antonioni scheme to sabotage the world’s image of an entire nation, let us be clear: we are more interested in the one small bright square so carefully preserved like some tiny peep [...]
Mar 05, 2010 | Categories: China, Nanjing, Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily | Tags: Antonioni, beverages, cement, chai, Cina, consumerism, corn juice, corny, destruction, development, drinks, Expat, laundry, Progress, social commentary, tea, the future, Travel | 3 Comments »