Look – over there!See the great flashes!The towers crimson!The showers golden!What wonder! What fashion!Are you looking?Are you amazed?Trust me! Please!This will all be a breeze!Why be afraid?Take in the show!Never mind what they say!And now, it’ll be quick,No pain but a prick!Let it all fade away… Oh, the greatest trick of all – with a [...]
Aug 08, 2008 | Categories: Beijing, China | Tags: Beijing 2008, change, Chinese education, Chinese people sleeping, Olympic Games, opening ceremony, oppression, Ridiculous | Leave A Comment »
Actually, that should say: Clap your hands, show your belly and Yell. EEEEeeww. That’s right, eeew as in gross because deodorant is virtually unknown and mid-section modesty is non-existent. This is not just a lao wai passing judgement, this is a lao wai passing on a pertinent warning. Take this man: shirt rolled up passed [...]
Jul 31, 2008 | Categories: Beijing, China, When in China | Tags: Beijing, belly, clapping, forbidden city, grilz, prosticutters, staying cool | 1 Comment »

Jul 12, 2008 | Categories: Beijing, China, Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily | Tags: asteroidea, echinoderm, Expat, Gross, market, Ridiculous, Seafood, starfish, Street Food, weird | 1 Comment »

Jul 02, 2008 | Categories: Beijing, China, Stuff People Ingest Voluntarily | Tags: bug, centipede, Chinese Food, Expat, market, Ridiculous, sticks, Street Food, weird | 5 Comments »
Dear Beijing Airport Domestic Departures Security Personnel, Just so you know, it – that five-pound, soft, orange brick (yummmmmm) that you pulled from our bag and poked and prodded and passed questioningly around to your coworkers, giggling nervously, each leaving their own finger impression with equal confusion and uncertainty – was delicious. Thank you for [...]
Dec 06, 2007 | Categories: Beijing, China, Letters to Whomever | Tags: Expat, Ridiculous | Leave A Comment »