Dear Recycled Hand
Dear Recycled Hand, To begin, I must say that it is noble of you to sacrifice yourself to the cause. It’s a thankless job with high expectations and high stress. We notice that you are the Left. If you are anything like our country, I suppose the Right is in the “Unrecyclable” bin next to [...]
CRIMES AGAINST POSTERITY: Exhibit A
They Know Something We Don’t Know And with one foul stroke of the artist’s pen, out goes the rumor of American Utopia, flushed as carelessly as the product the new America sells so well. A barefoot, sleepy-eyed non-Asian, sleeves rolled up, scrubbing on hands and knees while the peppy t.p. awaits his duty – the [...]
Traces of Decline: Polluting with Pride
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Dear Different Fish
Dear Different Fish, You know who you are. The freak. You’re the strange one in the line – the oddball, the novelty, the outsider. We see you dangling there, in what appears to be a rather uncomfortable position, and we can’t help but wonder – what makes you hang amongst those others? Don’t you have [...]
Stuff Tourists Buy Voluntarily
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Seasick: a poem
When the boat stops moving,That’s when everything startsRuthless and unpredictableLike a drunkard’s stray fistOr like poison My body begins to dismantleEach cell pushes out and awayAnd I am no longer a solid.The liver, the ‘stine, the spleenBecome their own ships afloatand capsize. The mountains tell me how to steadyBut I’m not like them; I’m mostly [...]
America
Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 33 The 4th of July. America’s big day. The day when Americans of all shapes, sizes, colors, dreams and political leanings apply their differences to the true calling of patriotism: Competition. The 4th of July is a day of Bests and Mosts – from Best Firework Display to Most [...]
Tall Man Short Pants, Short Man Long Pants
Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 27 Ah! The classic juxtaposition of opposites to produce a humorous effect – the left so tall and the right so short! Even the buildings play along – tall in the back, short in the front. Hilarious! No? Well, in that case, let’s try serious juxtaposition. In this picture, [...]
The War on Dreams: Part VIII
Dr. Gerard Trutt, PHD is the Professor of Dream Studies at Princetard University. He is an acclaimed author, speaker, and historian, and is considered to be the foremost authority on the War on Dreams and its effects on American life. His most recent publication is titled “From Betty Boop to Dumbo: Technicolor and the American [...]
The Ridictionary: Lesson 1
Ridictionary (n)1. An irregularly published series of words selected due to general awesomeness, modern significance, or a tendency to be misused or overused, that provides a thorough explanation of meaning and gives examples of proper usage, often with savage, unforgiving wit. 2. A lexicon of words compiled with the intention of shedding light on the [...]
Chinese Laundry
Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 7 Walking down the street in Hong Kong, literally down – it’s very hilly – past a 7-11, a smoothie shop, discount clothing stores-picking up speed- inexpensive restaurants, expensive restaurants, a silk boutique-but eewee what’s that smell?- click. If it weren’t for open garage doors like this butcher shop, [...]
Time for President Yes
Totally Awesome Picture of the Week 47 Ok America. Rise and Shine. It’s Tuesday night here in the Eastern hemisphere and it’s getting to be morning over there. You know what that means. This little old woman shuffles a mile and a half by herself every morning just to join the other lonesome elderly for [...]
Nov 04, 2008 | Categories: America, China, Totally Awesome Picture of the Week | Tags: barack obama, bu shi, Expat, George Bush, john mccain, old chinese people, president, Sarah Palin, social commentary, US Election 2008, voting | 1 Comment »