Dear Republican State Senate Candidate Who Mailed Propaganda to China
Dear Republican State Senate Candidate Who Mailed Propaganda to China, A red rectangle, yellow shapes, a straightforward simple slogan… so imaginative, so fresh! How impressed I was when handed your envelope; how happy I was that someone had thought to send me mail. I felt a swelling urge to announce my support for something. But [...]
Traces of Decline: Guns in Schools
(Flexing teenager on his snowmobile speaking to another teenager): “Hey Bobby, got tickets?.. To the Gun Show!” Bobby: “You Betcha! See you in the gym.” “Fun for everyone.” This ad was printed on the front page of the Sunday edition of Alaska’s largest newspaper, the Anchorage Daily News: At least they’re encouraging the kids to [...]
Prototype for Alaskan Attorney Discovered at the Chinese Museum
SLIGHTLY MORE PHOTOGENIC AS MAN Shanghai, CHINA – A bust of Eric T. Sanders, was recently found in the ancient sculpture wing of the Shanghai Museum. The well-preserved, roughly-carved giant head – which, incidentally, is often referred to as “The Judge” – was previously thought to be some sort of god, demon or school teacher. [...]
Traces of Decline: Polluting with Pride
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Dear Different Fish
Dear Different Fish, You know who you are. The freak. You’re the strange one in the line – the oddball, the novelty, the outsider. We see you dangling there, in what appears to be a rather uncomfortable position, and we can’t help but wonder – what makes you hang amongst those others? Don’t you have [...]
Stuff Tourists Buy Voluntarily
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Seasick: a poem
When the boat stops moving,That’s when everything startsRuthless and unpredictableLike a drunkard’s stray fistOr like poison My body begins to dismantleEach cell pushes out and awayAnd I am no longer a solid.The liver, the ‘stine, the spleenBecome their own ships afloatand capsize. The mountains tell me how to steadyBut I’m not like them; I’m mostly [...]
Dear Alaska 2
Dear Alaska, OK! We have to admit you had us. We really thought you wanted to reelect crooked old Uncle Ted. We are silly gullible fools. What a wonderful dosage of humility! For that we thank you. Next, we must issue an apology. We were wrong. You’re only a little less than half as dumb [...]
Nov 19, 2008 | Categories: Alaska, America, Letters to Whomever | Tags: Alaska Independence Party, Alaskan senate race, Begich, Democrats, Goodbye Uncle Ted, Guns, Republicans, social commentary, Ted Stevens, too old for politics, US Election 2008 | 1 Comment »